Seriously, Is this my life?

Happy Leap Year!

2012-02-29T18:04:00.007-08:00

It is getting closer to spring time, which means.... new hair cut or/and color. Red and firey? Sassy and blonde? So many choices and spring is just around the corner.

Happy Leap Year! Today is the extra day that we are given every four years. So how did I use my extra day? I worked, organized and set some new goals. What did you do?

Happiness

2012-02-10T12:53:00.000-08:00

Today marks a huge day in my family. As birthdays, anniversary, holidays... sometimes a day can mark a difficult day in a family history. Today marks that day for us. But the quote that really makes sense is this:

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. C.S. Lewis

Today we celebrate my family and knowing our exisitance here on earth is temporary - make the most of it.

2012-02-02T18:58:00.000-08:00

"The pride of the peacock is the Glory of God." William Blake

Peacock - Symbol of integrity & show your true color

Funny?

2012-02-02T18:20:00.000-08:00

Why is it that I have a few pieces in my closet that I adore, cherish, and rock! I have a few pieces that I overspent on them because I loved it. When I saw the items in the store, they were screaming "Elizabeth - I am yours!" and I believed it.

On my first Christmas with my boyfriend/now husband, we had just started dating (two months into dating) and he gave me a beautiful black leather coat with fox trim. I have loved, worn and enjoyed this coat. Once we had children, it is hard to wear fur as they think you are a petting zoo. So I have not worn the coat in years, but I not intention of purging the coat...ever. That leads us up to today. Let me set the scene, it is cold (snow storming coming), my normal everyday coat is at cleaners as I split coffee on it, and could not find the normal back up coat. So I pulled out 'foxy'. I wore casual clothes and the coat is super overdressed for my day of being a carpool dropping momma kinda day. But I wear her anyway. The day is coming to a close, I have dropped kids off at two schools, gone to doctors appointments, friends house, post office, bank, and cute clothing store with foxy. As I approach the car to head home for the day, I look down and someone has shaved a part of foxy off! I assume a pair of scissors being controlled by an offspring of mine was the culprit. My reaction was not as I would have expected. I giggled and thought, when I pass down this coat to the daughter who shaved foxy...she will regret her choice as a young girl wishing she left foxy alone! I will not know now who exactly shaved her. But I am sure as an adult, someone will fess up.

So it brings me to list the beautiful alterations my children have done to special pieces:
Wilhelmina - cut the rhinestones off my Twisted Heart tank as she needed pirate treasure
Basil - smeared a Vaseline substance all over the bottom of my new cute sandals (grease attracts everything to stick to them now)
Someone - shaved a section of foxy!

Funny, yes I think it is at this point.

What is working for me?

2012-01-08T15:16:00.000-08:00

I have collected shiny rocks, round rocks, smooth rocks, and more rocks that my mother could have imaged my entire life. I have now started to fill a jar in my bathroom to showcase my collection. I seem to consistently collect. I love this picture of the pebbles from the shore of San Francisco. Such a great example of beautiful rocks.

In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
Thomas Jefferson

This is one of the pictures I took this past summer. I am in love with the islands off the coast of Seattle so much so that I dream of living there. A simple life filled with days watching the waves, walking on the beach and listening to the sounds.

Here is what is working for me.... removing the people from my world that are toxic, trust my gut and instincts (I am not sure why we do not do that from the start), and loving the simple friendships of a few close friends. We all need to be like this shell - let the inside show, know how beautiful we are from the inside out, and keep some of the world out by not opening up all the way to brokenness.

New Day New Blog

2012-01-08T14:52:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! This is one of my favorite times of the year. I wake up like I do on 364 other days but the first day of the year is filled with hope and promise unlike the others.
The theme of this year for me is “Live in Color.” The concept revolves around the idea that we can live life abundantly, full of intention and create our dreams. You are the artist of your future.

I want to spend my year to creatively express and explore this concept. So what is on my list to accomplish and try this year? Maybe a fitness challenge, a house review and change, a mission trip and maybe even slowing myself down to experience the simple things in life that I tend to miss by trying to do too much.

I am reading a book titled, “Queen of your own Life” by Kathy Kinney & Cindy Ratzlaff. They speak of believing that you are beautiful. They compare it to the experience of going to an art museum. When at a museum, you do not want to look at the same painting reproduced exactly the same way over and over. People enjoy visiting a museum because each piece of art has a unique perspective of the individual artist. It’s the delight in the details, the brushstrokes, colors and quality of light playing off one another that gives us pleasure. The same is true for women. Our unique experiences, wisdom, humor and compassion make us each an original work of art, perfect and beautiful just the way we are.

So I think I will start by throwing a "Crowning Ceremony' as they mention in the book this coming weekend. I feel sorry for my three girlfriends that are under the assumption we are going to the mountains to relax...when really we will have a party!

I ask you this to help you get started, What do you want to let go of or leave behind in the old year that no longer works for you, and what do you want to keep that is still working for you?

Precious

2011-08-09T19:38:00.001-07:00

Sydney is my wonderfully curious child. She does not fear... fear itself. She loves animals more than anything and as a result she is holding a starfish for the first time. As she held the starfish I thought constantly of the story of when the old man was throwing star fish back into the ocean. The child asks, why? And the man says, if I am helping at least one starfish, I am helping. Well you get the gist of the story. I walked along the beach wondering, what will my daughters lives look like in ten years or twenty years? They have some much curiosity and passion. What will they do with it? How do you instill drive and passion into another person? Or can you? I think not. I think we are born with gifts and the sooner you find your gifts the easier your path here on earth is for you. My daughters gifts: resiliency, passion, stubborn, driven, competitive, hopeful and loving. After all, how can you survive what these girls have survived without some of these characteristics? May we never miss our gifts.

Photo Shoot of Now

2011-07-16T09:11:00.000-07:00

When we were asked to share where the girls are now, I thought why not. Most of the world still has the picture in their heads that the girls are very young riding their bikes around the neighborhood. We shot the cover for ColoradoView (only to be placed in the center of the book and be removed from the cover spot for a box of Valentine chocolates.... what does that really mean?). I saw the final photo and realized the girls are getting older, a lot older... like almost teen older. That is truly spooky and not a fun Halloween fun spooky. So I thought I would share the photo.

We have since visited the bone doctor that followed them since they were in my belly cooking. Come to find out they both have some quirky ribs. Which I would love to explore more about why the news really threw me for a loop, but I am not sure I can translate what I felt when he started giving me all this information as I truly believed they had a normal bone structure like everyone else. The different bone structure does not mean anything, I was just surprised... I guess. But the bone curvature has really straightened and as we transition into puberity, we will follow their spine.

Ten years old... can you believe it? I am not sure I do. I think this is one of the worst photos of myself so ignore me... I just look lame.

Great Rewards

2011-07-16T08:50:00.000-07:00

I think one the best rewards with sharing the story of the twins are the responses. Often times people share their personal connection to their story immediately and some come later in the time. I received a thank you note from the church I spoke at the end of June. I thought I would share the note with you.

Hi Emily,
Thank you so much for a most enjoyable program. You were inspirational, funny, touching and what a great role model for all of us!

I have had many ladies express how much they loved your delightful and informative message.

Thank you again form all of us.

Kay Street
Chapel of the South Fork

If you ever head to South Fork - Colorado, please stay at the Spruce Lodge (my son thought it was heaven on earth and the owner, Dee, is such a blessings) and enjoy the small town as much as we enjoyed the area and people.

Blessings and abundance to you!

May Day!

2011-05-02T09:57:00.000-07:00

Okay I am so bummed today is not a day that I live in Hawaii! Today is the day that all the school children have prepared a hula, dance or such to share in front of the school. The morning is spent with this royal introduction of the King and Queen of the Islands and every island is represented by a couple wearing the island flowers and colors. It truly is magical and amazing. The lei making contest is today. By the way, I won that a few times as I am really good at haku leis.

It is so vivid in my memories that I can remember doing Pu'pu Hino Hino with cowry shells in first grade. It is an afternoon of field day activites and popsicles to conclude the day.

These are the moments, I wish I was raising my family on the islands so they would appreciate and understand the rich culture of Hawaii.

Happy May Day!

Second Favorite

2011-03-31T15:15:00.000-07:00

I was raised in Maui. So every year a family friend would send me double bearded iris bulbs. I loved to garden since I was very young. I spent hours in the garden, planting, changing plants, and watching them grow. When I received my first iris bulb, it grew. The leaves are simple straight lines and then the most amazing bundle arrives. They have such a peeling effect of beauty. I have been in love ever since.

Now that I do not live in Maui, my second favorite flower is orchids. They are a great indoor plant and so I have two by my kitchen sink. They add a fresh beauty especially when doing the dishes. So here are my two favorite sink plants plus a bonus one (as I never do anything alone).

This treasure I found today in my email:

http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/category.jsp?navAction&navCount=0&id+CLOTHES

The double bearded iris...

Living by a quote

2011-03-16T18:50:00.000-07:00

I know poetry inspires people... not me.

Songs make people respond...kinda, but not me.

Why is that? I associate ear ring combinations with my day events. Yes, earrings, I never wear matching earrings so I associate a crappy day with the mismatched pairing of earrings. On some days, I never repeat the ear ring combination because I do not want the day to repeat itself. Is that weird? Yes, seriously it is weird.

I love quotes. I came across a really powerful quote the other day... God's presence in our soul. I have found that faith doesn't necessarily stop all bad things from happening, but it does carry us through them. In fact, greatness is often birthed from the adversities in our lives. I wrote this on a scrap sheet of paper back in the summer. It appeared out of no where about 2 weeks ago. About a month ago, I almost lost my sister/best friend to a tragic event. (She is alive and great now). This quote appeared...again. Timing odd? I think not. God wink? Yes. Listen to that again, Greatness is often birthed from the adversities in our lives. Greatness... what is your greatness? What is mine? The title of the book where this was pulled from is You're All That by Paula White. We really all that and more. We are great.

Picture is of two of my favorite people, my girlfriend Shalon and sister, Becki (I am in the center)

2011-03-16T18:28:00.000-07:00

Imagine having to clean this tile daily? I have to say, I actually read an entire book this morning, I know shocking. (For those of you who do not know me, I love magazines - quick, get the point, tell me what I need to know in less than three pages and pretty pictures on top of it). I could not stop giggling when read this book. Her voice was amazing, entertaining and pure fabulous. This is the spirit of what I want my book to feel like to the reader (someday soon the book will happen). When reading her book, she started off right with explaining tiara time and has a mini crown tatooed on her wrist (she had me at tiara). It was like she gave me permission be just live without the pressure of trying to have a perfect home. The home was secondary to my experiences and myself. She gives you so many tricks that I am actually thrilled to use them. It was a great morning reading her book hooked up to an IV. Hey at this rate..if I did not read another book this year, I will have passed the books read count for the last few years! I could actually read a book a month if I keep this up! Imagine that!

Book: Life's Too Short to Fold Fitted Sheets by Lisa Quinn

www.amazon.com/Lifes-Short-Fold-Fitted-Sheets/sim/0811869938/2

So the picture reflects beautifully placed mini tiles...I worked really hard laying them in a perfect relationship of color and design. Seriously, I did not do it...where was this photo taken? Hint: Not in Colorado.

Think on it

2011-01-31T18:54:00.000-08:00

Before I forget, here are two key phrases I heard in church yesterday,

"Your (God) grace will catch us when we fall."

"Rid my of myself, I belong to you"

How comforting that we can surrender to Him knwoing He will always catch us.

God is good!

REDBOOK Article

2011-01-31T18:46:00.000-08:00

Okay someone beat our family to the final stages, however, I thought I would share her ultimate article with you:
Okay I must not be computer fabulous, I just can't seem to cut and paste in this thing, why not?

So here is the link...
http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/your-money-today/article.aspx?cp-documentid+25438560&gt1+32078

It is what we have been working on as a family. They survived it too! We are only six months into the process and I was not as clever as she was on her rules. We actually spent days debating the definition of a want and need as it came to the girls outside of school activities. But interesting rules that she laid out for them.

Blessings!

Slow Down

2011-01-26T20:43:00.000-08:00

Slow down, seriously. I like that word - seriously. Today I watched a grandfather drive through the 'kid safe zone' at my sons preschool (why? because he had a handicap sticker? thought he was going to die today so he rushed around traffic and drove through the child drop off zone in front of the school, or does he think he is too important?), then came into work today to eight police officers, fire truck and two ambulances at the corner of my office building because a truck clipped a bike police officer and then heading home I watched an oncoming car drive toward the cars taking their green left turn arrow. Where are our minds? Are we so hurried we can't safely park our car we have to drive through the kid loading and unloading zone? Are we the only ones driving that we failed to look both ways, and what the heck happens to our heads when we drive? All events today could have killed someone. Does that make you stop and think? But will you remember when you head into your car tomorrow and start to drive?

Rolling Mouse Hotel

2011-01-23T10:05:00.000-08:00

I live in a very suburban neighborhood. Seriously, our lot was a field. So a builder just started building new homes again across the street (it really does not make sense as we have so many foreclosures in Colorado and the builders think that we do not have enough homes in Parker already, really?). When they unearth the dirt, the mice start to relocate. We get them in the garage, backyard and occasionally our cat brings one in the house, drops it and leaves. I planted mint around the perimeter of the home so mice are suppose to stay away because they do not like mint. So they are not in the basement.

So the other day, Lexi went to the garage and was looking for her shoes. She left the minivan door open and came in for the night. The door stayed open for the night. Now, I am well aware our minivan has seen the wrath of the kids (from Sydney not liking her salad so she stuffed it in the back seat compartment to Anderson coloring the back seats with a Sharpie). So this minivan will probably be laid to rest after the Starks usage.

So after church, I was gathering the extra snow gear and noticed what looked like mice poop. Seriously, I thought, it can't be mice poop. How could it have gotten in the car? Logistically, how? And who has a mouse in their car? So I went that day, removed everything, vacuumed it and thought, I scared it off. Where ever it is? Maybe it came in, pooped and left? Well within a day, someone ate my 'to do' list. So that little bugger is living in the minivan. So what do I do? Put Decon in the back? How do you find a mouse int he car? I have worn covered shoes since I found the first poop as I do not want this little creature to touch me if he decides to come up and visit me while driving. I am a true screamer when it comes to mice. I do not mind spiders or bugs, but I do mind mice. They freak me out.

Now what? Do I serve Decon at the rolling mouse hotel and hope he comes down for dinner? Seriously, who has a mouse in their car? But me.

Monster Trucks

2011-01-20T09:48:00.000-08:00

Anderson (my 4 year old son) said to me, 'Mom, only boys drive Monster Trucks, right?' I have no clue the correct answer so I said, "Maybe, there might be a girl or two but I am sure most are boys." He insisted, 'No, only boys. Boys are bestest Mom.' I figured for sure, I was his number one person (even over Daddy.). SO I said, 'Isn't Mommy better than boys?' To my surprise, he said, 'No Mom, boys are bestest. Just ask Daddy.' - For those you without a four year olds - bestest is the term he uses for the BEST!

I can say, he is a true delight but boy can he talk a lot.

I have so much to say

2011-01-20T09:27:00.000-08:00

It is a fresh new year! I am swamped with pageant preparations as the Mrs. CO pageant is at the beginning of March. Just in case you are not aware, I produce the Mrs. Colorado Pageant. But in the midst of all the 12 hour days preparing for the pageant, I am finding the time to do a few 'me' things. Some of my 'me' things happen to be a big dream of mine - to be speaking regularly throughout the United States, to start the book about the girls, and to stay up on my bible study. Normally when I get too busy, I push these projects to the back burner and ignore them. I am not doing that this year. I am squeezing out time - as a result my crock pot is working overtime (darn near the easiest way to have a healthy home cooked meal) and participating in an exercise class called BodyCalm which seem to be helping stay physically toned (actually losing weight) and centered. To my delight my speaking calendar is booking up and I am thrilled that as the girls story will be featured in the upcoming Colorado View Magazine. What a fabulous time to share the girls tenth birthday with Colorado. Many people still have the notion that the girls are toddlers and really they are not. To my amusement and delight, the girls are growing up. They are turning into young ladies which is truly been a blessing to watch. There are days, I wonder where time goes and I thought for a long time, 'only old people say that', but I am truly wondering where the time has gone. However, when they do not want to wash dishes or put their laundry away, I do wish time would speed up! So I guess it is a never ending cycle. I have a ton on my plate, but if you gather anything from this 'all over the place' blog entry, gather this: Don't put your big dream on the back burner, do a small something daily to keep moving forward to see that dream become a reality. As my life coach told me the other day, 'Be good to myself.'

Happy New Year!

2010-12-26T16:25:00.000-08:00

I am so excited for the new year, I have new dreams, ideas and goals set into place with actual action plans attached to them. I meet with my life coach on Monday (tomorrow) at 10am so things are rolling and the year has not even started. Enjoying what you do is key to making a soul happy. I am enjoying my role as the director of the most prestigious pageant for married women in Colorado as I watch, assist and relish in other people success. I have watched women set out to run marathons, lose weight, and overcome their shyness. It really is exhilarating to witness. It gives me a sense of pride to know I provided an opportunity to step out. That is what I am going to challenge myself to do this year too, step out. I am forty after all, I need a new challenge. I am enjoying a new diet plan on my workout program. It is a touch intense at times as I am to eliminate wheat, sugar, salt and dairy. Have I completely done it yet? Nope. But working on it, sure. I am hoping to see physical changes but more importantly internal changes with a stronger immune system and energy. I have a quirky illness that I was diagnosed with about 2 years after the twins were born (I do not make antibodies) so a healthy body is key for me. We will see all the fun things that happen. I am excited.

I have two books I plan to read daily...yes, I have tried this for year but why not, I will try again. So the Bible in 365 days and Simple Abundance. I am plain ole' thrilled to try again. I shall not let the daily responsibilities take over.

Blessings to you and your family. We are blessed.

Christmas on a budget?

2010-12-19T14:34:00.001-08:00

You bet ya! We did have a moment of 'Is this enough?" then quickly realized, yes it is. Each child is getting about 4 gifts with stockings full of socks, underwear, crayons, tape and such. Things they need anyway. The kids have more than enough so we feel confident we have not overspent. I think we spend about $120 per child. Not bad. I have the words of Dave Ramsey in my head, Christmas is not a surprise every year so it should be planned for as it is not an emergency. Well, he worded it better than I but the concept is still clear.

I am now researching the coupon grocery game thing and planning meals in advance as that will keep grocery overspending in control. Any thoughts? I am trying the free http://www.couponmom.com/ first because well, it is free. Why not? I will keep you posted.

Life is all about pulling things around and making it happen. How blessed are we that we have our health, family and a warm roof over our heads. Blessings!

Direct Correlation

2010-12-06T15:21:00.000-08:00

I have always believed there is no such thing as a coincidence. I believe that God places us, circumstances and events in our path perfectly. It is his way to acknowledge that we are on the right path and journey. Almost living the destiny He has chosen for us and we are working it! I find that the days I spend in prayer with God and His word, I have better days and results. For example, if I get lost or worried in something with my business, I ask for his guidance, abundance and wealth. Low and behold things start shaping and happening. It is really interesting. If I fail to be with God, my days almost spiral into a worry mess of chaos.

I know what you are thinking, interesting right? Then why do I not spend every moment of every day with Him then my days will go flawlessly. Well, I guess that is where the human aspect of myself kicks in. As things go fabulous, I get busier, I let life takes over pulling me from daily prayers which ultimately puts me in a vortex of confusion where I am so nicely lifted out by God when I surrender again and pray. I guess the beauty of this all really comes down to my relationship with God. I must surrender my plan and watch God's plan flourish for me. It reminders me of the Jeremiah 29:11, For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. I will take that future.

Have I stuck in there... Barely

2010-12-05T22:01:00.000-08:00

It is true, I love shopping. I enjoy a stroll along an old path from one smelly old boutique to the next - that is layered in new and exciting bargain and finds for me. It is the hunt. I am a clever shopper though. I read brand labels and write them down on a pad of paper and search them on the Internet to make sure I am getting a bargain. Bargain...yes.. you might be wondering, have they given up their pack to not spend money on wants? No. I have purchased a winter coat and beyond that...applause please...I am doing it. Nothing! I have to say there are days I am dying, I want to grab a new tee or purse. But no, we are working hard to go through the holiday season on budget. We have cashed in our checking account rewards for cash and that is our Christmas budget. I even filled out a survey for Nordstroms online and they sent me a $50 card so I am thrilled to say the least. It is like God is rewarding us in small ways to say, "Keep going." So we have created all our teacher gifts by hand, we made homemade soaps in many colors and flavors according to the child giving the soap. We also put a handful of Bay leaves in a pretty little bags for them from our bay tree. Is that what it is called? Who knows, but you cook with them in soups and such. I have my days where I want to buy something but I have really been thinking about the true fact of.. do I need this? Most of the time, it is no. We also have been giving more of the items we have at home to charity. Downsizing and not replacing which feels great. We also have been buying gifts for Operation Child and some families at church with less than us. So we have been giving when at a time that feels like we have nothing to give. I asked my husband why we are giving and how this would all right itself, and here was the quote he sent me: Giving of ourselves is often easy during times of plenty, but giving in our own times of need is a much deeper sacrifice. Ultimately, it just feels good and right. Abundance!

2010-08-21T19:22:00.000-07:00

Okay I am now on the 20th of the month... I have been so good. Okay I must confess, I did buy a clearance $3 T-shirt which I even had buyers remorse and wanted to return (I misplaced the receipt so I have not returned it yet). It has been adventurous to say the least.

We have purchased only necessitities. Like food. But this is also the start of school so we added mandatory school fees, yearbook, recorder fees, and more! It is not like running a family is cheap by any means. But this is a big financial month. Plus I have a dentist who doubled their estimate that is up my butt for their money. I want to scream at them as I wish they estimated my portion properly and my medical flex would have covered it and I would be done. So I am paying them piece by piece.

Okay back on target...wants...I cut out diet coke...and trying to eat non-prepared foods. I am succeeding and I am drinking water. It sucks but I am hanging in there. I have lost 10 pounds since the beginning on August (is that because of no diet coke, exercising?, or stress of no shopping?)

I have avoided the mall and my favorite boutiques. I can not even image going in and not coming out with a new item, how sad. SO I avoid. Can I do this for a year? I think not. I tried to find something 'cute' in my closet last night for date night, and nothing looked great! I hate that, a closet of clothes and nothing to wear. I did wear something as I did not want to scare the other away at dinner but not cute!

My husband seems at peace with the whole change. Why is that?

Okay I am off to watch Harry Potter and wish I was internet clothes shopping!

The Night Before

2010-07-31T18:51:00.000-07:00

Okay as we change our spending habit, here is where we are at...grumpy, pissy, and bitchy. I have over spent on clothing as I knew this was it, as who can say a pair of cut-ass-jeans for 50% off $175 pair of True Relgion jeans which I hid frm my husband for a few days until her said, 'New Jeans?' Yes, my husband is one of those that notices new clothing. I know he could be gay as he notices clothing and likes shopping. So back on topic. I bought a silly over prices outfit and now I feel bad but now I think 'it covers the whole year of no shopping'. So bad decision, yes. But does my butt look great and I pray the jean lasts all year long! So now we are wrapping up a family reunion and I am ready to change my overspending. Overspending, maybe not but spending on useless, uneeded crapo.....yes

We also started to add another change (I know you should only do one thing at a time) but we are going to remove sugar from our diets too. I think that maybe be harder than need v. want spending.

So tonight, I will sleep well knowing tomorrow will be new and different! A shock to the family to the family!

Changes

2010-07-08T09:44:00.000-07:00

I am the kind of person that loves to throw new ideas around to my husband. We have spoken of money, budgeting and creative ways to create and manage both. I was watching the update of Oprah Debt Diet. I had watched the original show a few years back and never followed up with them so I was always curious with the couples on there if it worked. How could it not work as these experts moved in and results are almost guaranteed. However, something even more interesting caught my eye on the show. A New York couple saved $13,000 by only spending on necessary items. That got me thinking. I proposed to my husband, James, we need to try this idea of one year, only spend money on necessary. He actually thought about it and said sure.

Let the roller coaster begin. So we of course did not start the very next day, it is like a shock or diet. We needed time. (Procrastination maybe, but time felt right). Let me tell you the roller coaster of emotions began for many reasons. First let me get this out there, we propose this might be a great idea on Sunday. Mention the idea to the kids, and my three year old son says, "No food Mommy?" So we try to break this down for his age. And he finally says, okay. "Food is fine but no toys." We leave it at that. I have one fun addictive hobby, boutique shopping and my husband's hobby is shooting. So I have a massage, pedicure, and manicure scheduled for the next day to use a gift card and I even think twice about it and I did not even pay for the gift card.

Well almost in a panic mode the very next day, I enjoy the spa services and head over to a boutique beside the spa and I start to rationalize that this could be it. I could be doing no more of this for a year so what would any other shopper do? Buy the cutest pair of jeans (on sale of course) and a fabulous new top. I think if I can get this out of my system, I will survive the next year. That is not really what I was feeling after, I almost feel and still do, like I need to return the jeans and top. But then I rationalize this is it, I need it. Need... I think not. But darn it and I can't go cold turkey.

So I think that is it, I am over it. Ready? Of course. So I do what any other person would do, talk to my sister about it. I say, James and I are thinking of something and what do you think. I propose it to her, she looks at me with a great look of 'seriously?' and then says, how are you going to give up diet coke? Diet coke? Why on earth would I give up diet coke? What are you speaking of? She says, that is not a necessity. What? Seriously, coffee is some peoples magic nice pill but mine is diet coke. And I am not sure anyone wants me to give up diet coke. So the debate of what is necessity versus ant is blown up. Huge, fireworks, explodes. I start to think, who defines necessity and want? We have three kids. Are there desire to participate in Girl Scouts and karate a need or want? They must have some activities but will they die without them? No so do we deprive them? No. What is the right answer and mindset to work this out in?

Then we have been struggling with the whole idea of need versus want. James needs to shoot because it keeps him happy and a happy husband is important. I do not want a bitchy husband, who does? So is his shooting a need then? Do you say to him, yes shoot but limit it? We already have him reload his own bullets to save money so you can't go cheaper. But really is it a need? We throw around the occasional Redbox movie, is family movie night out? Or seriously, can a dollar movie and home popped popcorn a need to keep the family together and united? The you start to question, is Dish television a need? I can not live without the crap programming as James calls it. I barely watch free television stations so removing Dish would really effect me. We already minimized our expenses when we went through the Dave Ramsey course three years ago. We altered, removed and changed things to the basics really. What else could we remove and still live 'normally'? How do we live? We live in a middle of the road suburban home with a huge mortgage payment compared to our net income. So to be honest, if we sold our house and moved to a small mortgage payment that would be ideal. Not possible (I can hear Dr. Laura in my head saying, I am only seeing the one possibility and there are options I choose to not see them. True but really. I am forty years old, I do not want to raise my kids in an apartment. I know if we sold the current house we do not have extra equity in this market to put a down payment on a new house so we would rent. That is not my goal, however, a swimming pool, no yard maintenance or house maintenance sounds appealing on some days. But I need the kids to have dirt to dig in, yard to run in and ability to for me to send them outside so I can catch my breath on some days.) Tangent... We only have 23 years on paying this house off, we are sooooo close, right?

Okay the debate of need and want...where do we draw the line? This is the stir in my tummy, do I want to do this? I type up bankruptcies for people, it is so easy for me to say what they should do, where they messed up but reality, can I stick to a budget (I know Dave Ramsey, it is just an accounting of where the money goes....but do I want to? Can I do it?)

Ahhhh I really want the lottery to drop in my lap. Well, do I?

Need versus want....three kids... husband and wife and no new jeans for a year....have I stockpiled enough to last me a year? Don't roll your eyes....what is the cost of your hobbies?

So my sister suggested two vital things: blog as you wrestle with the starting of this as you will not be the only one as it is not easy to change habits, mentally perpare and do not make it look 'so rosy that it is unreal' and she said find resources. She suggested a book, I forgot the name already Be Tight by Speas,I think. Plus another friend suggested www.coupon......well something to start doing groceries differently.

I am tired

2010-06-28T18:13:00.000-07:00

For a three year old, I swear my son talks so much. I think either our mind is a funny thing and erases what we choose or my twins did not even speak as much combined as my son does now. Seriously, he can talk and talk. About what you may ask, I do not know but often about anything and nothing. I think he wants to mimic his older sisters so much, he talks as if there were two of him. I wish I could say, I am an advice girl. But honestly, I wing it so much I can't really give advice. When people say, 'their child did something at this age', I struggle to remember the one fun fact about Anderson that I do know. He was pee potty trained at 19 months. But really, when will I be whipping that fun fact out at a dinner party? Not going to happen. Why is I do not remember dates? As Dale C class once taught me, hear a name of a person, repeat it back and add a picture to the name to remember it. Should I do that with dates and history? Funny how it works and does not work in my brain. Okay I am board with my own writing.

What next? Do I talk about how grumpy and tired I was all day today. Do I ask, why do I just never feel rested enough? Do I tell you I am stressed about a few things? or how about, what is the last six months of my year going to look like?

Then I start to think, nope. I will tell you my Sydney had two close calls with drowning and choking in the last two days. She was playing around a river edge and fell in but managed to get herself right sided and out. She did look like a drenched cat. The choking happen at a grocery store and she was eating the free watermelon sample when it got stuck in her throat. She actually was able to tell my husband she was choking by doing the universal choking sign. Funny that you think that will never need to be used in your life. My husband was able to quickly catch on to the problem and sternly tell her to cough as he prepared to assist her. She managed to cough it up with watermelon, saliva and such. She is they shy one of the twins and really quiet about her business so telling me about it was not an option at all in her eyes.

I guess, I leave with this thought. In a month, I will have posted about the strange, normal, everyday events that go on with nine year old twins and a three year old boy. Maybe I will even learn to post a picture or two. Wouldn't that be special?

Perfection?

2010-06-23T10:45:00.000-07:00

I will never be accused of having a writing style that is fruitful, correct and perfect. Writing has never been my strength as a result I avoid it. I know practice makes perfect but truly I do not want to practice and have people judge me. I am creative, clever and always resourceful but strong writer, I am not. So I figured this is the best way to challenge myself to become an amazing writer. I want to become the writer where people can't get enough, want more and leave filled. So here I go with that challenge and goal. Wish me luck!

Book studies, I am not an avid reader (not a shock on why my writing skills lack). So I joined a book club this summer in hopes to read a book this summer. I have a meeting tonight, and ask if I am caught up? Nope. I am only 5 chapter behind. The subject matter is rough so I do not think I can pull off the fake out tonight and do I have time to read five chapter today, no I am working (and tuning my writing skills by writing this blog). I am side tracked and I should at least skim it and I wonder if I should just start in chapter 3 to catch up but will I be lost entirely. Who knows. I feel pushed in a good way and stressed in another. Why do I not read daily? I am trying to instill in my children to read constantly but I have to say I understand why do they not want to read daily, neither do I? Is it because I have not found an area of interest yet that tuned me in or am I not a reader really? I need to instill in the kids to read so by setting the example and reading, wouldn't that be my first step for them? Of course it is, but I am pained at the idea that I have read to be a better writer. I understand the direct relationship but...pained yes, I am.

I am off to work again and wish me luck on the book club meeting tonight as I was planning on stopping at my favorite boutique instead of reading the hour before our meeting...what will I do?

Where is my memory?

2009-12-10T15:35:00.001-08:00

Why is it that I can not seem to keep tons of information (big and small) in my head anymore. I just want to remember daily events, fun facts, who I spoke to last week, what I am suppose to be doing, etc. Just the daily things...I did a stress test a touch back and one of the questions was 'How many time do you go to get something in another room and when you arrive you have already forgotten what you were going to get?' Seriously, that is one of the most frustrating things I experience. I am getting a ton better because on the way to the other room, I mumble constantly what I am doing and do not look around. Once I make eye contact with a mess, something else that needs to be put away, or the view outside...I have lost my train of thought and I am toast. Okay...perfect example as I typed 'train of thought' I started thinking who and where did that saying come from? See I get sidetracked constantly. Interesting isn't it? I now take notes when I am on the phone so that I can remember something and see it in visual form so it will be remembered. Is there anyone else like me out there?

So I started this blog, as I want to be an author someday. So I figure I better practice and practice. When people read my writing, the humor does not always translate well. Nor does my tangent thought process so I figure this will help. The saying practice makes perfect is what I am seeking. A shocking as this may sound to some, I forget my blog name, hence, the delay in the second posting. I happen to be searching for the secretary of state website and my blog popped up as a previous history item. Memory...can I buy one for ninety-nine cents at the store please?

Do you want me to Aquaphor your shoe?

2009-09-02T18:48:00.000-07:00

Yes, I did type Aquaphor... as I turned the corner to head upstairs to lug more children stuff upstairs, I saw my summer sandel on the step upside down and shiny. I thought to myself, what did I step in to get such a shiny shoe? I figured it was me, until I picked the shoe up to realize that Aquaphor was rubbed everywhere on the sole of my sandel. Seriously, I paid way too much for the sandels to start with and now it was covered in a greesy, thick, heavy, non-washable substance. How am I suppose to look great when I have all these fashion hurdles to overcome just to get out the door? I giggled because I shared the shoe story with my younger no-kid sister, and she said, "You just need to go through your house and get rid of things and put things away. Then grab all those type items and lock them up." You know, I might have said that too back when I had no children but now, I can't. Honestly, I feel like a cleaning machine more often than I feel like a mother or wife. I am picking up constantly and I do not type that loosely. I wish someone else that lived in my home was a anal cleaning machine but nope I was not that lucky. I got messy bessy birds in my home. So now what you might ask? Here is the deal, I rubbed off the Aquaphor, put the Aquaphor away after looking for the tube for twenty minutes to find it hidden upstairs under a chair, and wore the shoes shopping today with no accidental slides whatsoever. You guessed it, this is part of my life.